Bismillahir Rahmaanir Rahiim

 

Have you ever noticed how it is when you are most in need of God (whatever you call/define as such) is when you are least likely to go to Him? I certainly notice that for me!

When I am struggling the most, it seems that would be when I most need Allah, when I should increase my worship and going to Him Alone for my needs. Certainly, we can cry our hearts out with no shame or embarrassment that we might (or perhaps, should) feel when we complain to other people. He already knows what we are struggling with and what is in our hearts anyway. There is nothing we can hide from Him, so we might just as well pour it all out in prayer.

But that isn’t what I do sometimes. When I most need Him is also when I am the most distracted. When I am more likely to rush through worship and not even bother with dhikr (remembrance) or du’a. Because emotional turmoil and stress lead to physical illness for me (not just the shingles either; I am prone to migraines, nausea and fatigue as well when stressed), I take it as an excuse to skip fasting.

When it comes down to it, it is easier to go to Allah when we are happy, healthy, and comfortable. I can’t honestly say that I thank Him enough in those times, however. But when life seems hard, when I should be turning to Him first and asking for patience for the trials, I don’t even get around to it. I wallow in self-pity and pain, and whine to anyone who will listen even though there is nothing they can do to improve my situation. I don’t go to Allah.

There are no excuses to be made for this; I know my duties and I know I need Him and He is free of any need from me. Do others find that they also do this? What makes us avoid or ignore the cure?